Please do NOT expect daily blog posts. Things are what they are. The voices are pretty much in control, and those bitches drink.. so it will be random!

Speed bumps in life

I hate it when you hit those minor speed bumps in the road of life.  You know the ones, the ones where you go.. what the f' was that?  Then you go around the block to see what it was and hit the f'er again.  Sad thing is, it's not a new bump.  I figured out real quick it's the same bump I hit two or three times in my lifetime.

It's that bump that just pisses you off so bad, you want to get out and slam it with a ball bat until it's dead.  Problem is, the bump is already dead.. that's why it's referred to as a DEAD END.

You see, nothing pisses me off more than doing a good job at something, then someone screwing with me.  If you have known me more than five seconds, you know I march to my very own drummer.  I work well with others if they just stay out of my way.

I also have a problem with anyone that makes a promise they can't or don't intend to keep.  My respect drops off real fast if you don't follow through on something you promise.

Thus, the bump in my road.  Broken promises, lack of follow through always equals lack of respect.  If I have lost respect for someone.. chances are.. I'm not hanging around long.  I've dumped family members for a hell of a lot less...  life is just too short to deal with some shit.
So, I'm going to put it in cruise and drive around the block.. hitting the same speed bump, until it totals my suspension system and I have no choice but to find a different form of transportation. registered & protected

Just a simple opinion..

Some know that I love MOMMA FARGO to the end of the earth and back.  Few know, we do have difference of opinions on certain subjects, and we fight it out in public.. with our usual loving snarkfest.

We are at war today.  I will NOT link you to the article we are arguing about.  I will not link it because I believe the article is not written in a correct manner.  I believe it is no different than the Al Sharpton rants.  I believe it is meant to rile up the troops and cause more problems.

The Pink Poinsettia vs The Red Jar

So today was quite interesting.  It's getting down to the wire for Christmas and I have no clue what to get Ogre Child.  I got PWT's gift bought and wrapped, but OC is a little more complicated.

I'm thinking if all else fails, I'll have a few unsupervised days with her after Christmas.. I'll teach her to mix a good gin and tonic.  What's better to give a seven year old than a trade!  Hey.. Bartenders make good tips.  Her parents are all in to this whole schooling crap.. I'm just giving her something to fall back on if she decides to go to high school in Colorado!   You may not make it to college if you spend to0 much time in Colorado.. that crap is hard on the ole brain cells.. I'm just helping her have a plan B.

Aging without Grace and Dignity.

That's right folks, there is NO grace or dignity in growing older.  Things you take for granted are the very things you can't trust when you get old.

One thing is, we need naps.  In our younger days we could party all night, run home and shower, go to work, rinse and repeat.  That ain't happening when you get older.   Now its, go to work, be thankful you work from home cause you are too tired to shower, where's my bed.

Word to the Unwise

So, things have not changed much in the time I've been gone.  One kind of blog is popular.  The kind of blog where the world is all sunshine and rainbows with unicorns shitting skittles around every corner.  Oh goodie..

Hello Old Friend

I never really understood people who just gave up their blogs.  I would cuss those that, after years of being online and sharing their humor, family, trials, and victories, just walked away without a word.  Then, I became one of them.

Pussy Shaver story

If you follow my tweets and my facebook, you know that I commented that I hadn't shaved my legs for a while.. being a widow and all.. what the hell is the reason to waste time..

Well, Princess K must have gotten a little grossed out over that concept because she got her old Mom an Electric Razor for Christmas.

Happy Easter!

I am spending it in the ER with my favorite gator.  Seems the Easter Bunny can not swim very fast.  Also appears my favorite gator is allergic to Bunnies.  So here we are, waiting to see if they can save a gator.
It all started out very innocent.  The Easter Bunny bid Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy a good evening and headed out on his annual run.  Hopping house to house hiding eggs and filling baskets.  When, he came upon the Royal Kingdom.
Knowing my hookers have gone forth and produced, he knew he had to hit the castle.  So, being a great mythical Bunny God he jumped into the mote and started to swim toward the castles.  Unfortunately , no one gave my gators the memo about Easter, Bunnies that shit out chocolate eggs and the hiding of brightly colored eggs.  All my gators heard at 4:00 A.M. was a splash.

My inner Bitch Latisha!

Well, not much book reading this week at rehab. We had some new residents move in next door. They are the loudest bunch of people Dutchess and I have met. Keep in mind, we run a kingdom of hookers.

These people have taken white trash to a whole new level. Within hours of them moving in next door the mayhem had started.

Keep in mind, they have one man, a two month pregnant ex wife, a three month pregnant girlfriend and their combined five kids, all shoved in the dorm next door. Good times are bound to happen when you have that combination.

Awe inspired post!

I was going to totally awe inspire you dudes and dudettes today.  I was going to dazzle your asses with my upbeat post.

The one where I tell you I’ve decided to make up with the family and run back into the folds of their warm and wonderful love.

I was going to tell you how I went to church and found God.. And now my life is all wonderful and I love everyone.

Get your headlight out of my ASS!

So,  PWT, OC and The Queen, took a little road trip the last couple days.  Not far, but far enough from the kingdom to put the Queen, outside her comfort zone.  Queenie is use to Clyde driving her every place she goes.  This trip, Queenie drove.
Remember, I'm totally directionally challenged.  Yes, I will argue with the damn GPS and I can't read road signs while I'm driving.  This is a really bad combo..
No worries, PWT was along to navigate.  We got this covered....  

Indians and the Mighty Machine

All the stories are not unhappy in my life.  After all, even an Ice Cube can't survive without happy stories.  Some of my favorite stories are those with the ten little Indians.  We were a tribe of our own.  We played by our own rules, we made up rules if we didn't like the ones we had, and we were unstoppable.  There were not enough adults in the world, to keep us in line, when we were all together.

The Little Engine that Couldn't

I don't link facebook to my blog for obvious reasons.  Yea...some of you would just lose your mind if I did... but.. I did have a request to do a THIS IS MY COUSIN series...  since I am doing it... that series will be posted in notes to facebook for your enjoyment.. and to start it off..


So, PWT does not want sad.. then get ready to pop a stitch bitch!

As you know, PWT lost her peanut. Made me cry.. I mean really cry.. cry like I have never cried before.. and then I decided..WTF I'm a fucking Queen.. No one gets to tell ME I can't have anymore Grandkids.. who the fuck do those damn doctors think they are... have they never heard of BLUE TOOTH.. that's right fuckers.. I have a plan..