Lady's Turn.

Yesterday I talked about the ads for men's products, that piss me off.   Now.. the ladies have a turn.


first of all..douche bags.  No, I don't mean that co-worker sitting next to you.  Not that kind of douche bag.  I'm talking "summer's eve". 

I'm old enough to remember the kind of douche bag my mother used.

In fact, I'm old enough to remember my parents leaving me home to babysit my younger brothers.  They were little monsters that were always fighting.  That night, I was pleased to discover that they were getting along.  While I enjoyed the peace and quiet and watch Dr. Welby MD, they didn't make a sound.


Oh yea, I heard the occasional laugh or giggle, but no blood curdling screams and I saw no blood.  Soon, I heard the parents return and imagine my fright when I heard a piercing scream from my Mother when she entered the house.

Come to find out, the little boys had found the above douche bag in the bathroom, and Daddy Dearest's condoms from the bedroom..

and were happily uniting the two to make water balloons in the bathroom..

OH THE HORROR OF MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.

needless to say, I hate the term douche bag.  I try to never use it.  If you hear that word come out of my mouth, you need to duck.  It means I'm so pissed, I can't even think straight..


Then, another advertisement that pisses me off is the one for this little product.

 Ladies, let's be honest.  If you are in this situation

You pry can figure out how to handle it without the TV showing you on prime time.  Right in the middle of my hot supper, this ad pops on.  Needless to say, the stray cats ate well that night.  I threw supper out the door, shut off TV, and hopped on the net.


While I hate the whole, POStVAC product, I hate these being advertised on TV even more.

I didn't say I have a damn thing against the product.  In fact, if you have ever been married to a limp BOBO.. you know exactly how these are used to keep the owner of BOBO alive.  Oh yes,  many an argument has ended with me screaming..YOU SIR, ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!... and then wandering into the bedroom for a snuggle with my little friend..


Being the loving spouse all those years, I tried to go along with all the hunting trips and fishing trips he planned for us.  I had no problem with them.. because...well I had my little friend along.

I always remembered to pack extra batteries.  Knowing I wouldn't see him most of the week.  THIS DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO SEE A 200 YEAR OLD WOMAN GIGGLING ABOUT WHERE SHE BOUGHT HERS... let's have a little dignity ok?    Take this shit off the air..


If you want something bad enough, you can google the net for it.  If you don't know how, I will do my best to help you out.  I will find an article on it and email the link to you.. BUT FOR GOD SAKE, THESE ADS ARE JUST SO FUCKING WRONG..


Then, there is the monthly visit.  I'm sorry, If you have ever been doubled over in the bathroom with cramps so bad you think you are about to give birth to your own head,,, You know where to buy MIDOL and how to take it..


If you have been having a period for more than 4 cycles of your life, you have already decided what female product you are going to use.

We are women, we can figure this stuff out all by ourselves.  We do not need some man sitting on a computer designing ads to let us know about this shit.. WE KNOW.. OK?  WE KNOW.

 most of us figured out how to use these, all by ourselves.. we got it in the right hole the first time..WE ARE NOT MEN!

So please, for all that is good and holy... please... please......get this shit off my TV