It has been several years since you have heard from the
Kingdom. Here is an WTF went down.
The Hookers joined
the Union and discovered it was illegal for Dutchess and I to take 90% of their
income right off the top. Bitches forgot
we provided everything for them out of that profit. Ungrateful little brats threw a huge tantrum.
The Vet got me drunk on cheap gin, stuck a lampshade on my
head, shoved me in a corner, handed me an electrical cord, told me I was a lamp
and I could turn myself on if I had a bright idea…. That took a while. The dumb ass stood me next to the fully
stocked liquor cabinet.
Then, they grabbed their Auntie Dutchess, hauled her ass off
to the rehab center. WTF were they
thinking? She promptly turned it into a
five star hotel resort. She now lives on
the entire top floor of the hotel, overlooking her vast kingdom complete with
strip club and golf course. I guess if
their new lives don’t work out they can apply for jobs with her.
Our top cop moved out East to become the city cop in a
little one horse town where she gets paid in tea leaves and coffee beans.
The Duck forgot the first rule of Hooking and is now raising
a fresh little Princess of her own. She
does have her hands full. A teenager and
a toddler. I send booze often.
If you remember one of the hookers tried to take over the
kingdom years ago. The Royals threw her
in the gator pit and took over Oz. When
that happened we rescued Dorothy and Toto.
I brought them back to the Kingdom and they have lived very
happily in the south property. Dorothy
still keeps up with Auntie Em so those stories will be included in future
posts. Uncle Henri still rocks Aunt Ems
ruby red shoes and black silk evening dress but we have come to love him
anyway.
Lucille, Bulldog, Willie still live in the main castle with
me. Willie keeps to himself unless he
needs someone to make a weed run for him, or I need him to fire up the
chopper. Sometimes we fire up the chopper
because Willie needs his weed. Those are
always interesting flights. Willie
piloting without weed is a sight. Wonder
what the correct term for road rage is when it involves a chopper?
As you can see I’ve purchased a new business and named it
Royal Tire, Lube, and Gynecologist Center.
We are a full service site, but we don’t promise Willie won’t supply the
wrong lube to the wrong department. It
may be a crap shoot.
Willie is head of the Tire and Lube Center
We hired Dr. Tellwillietoordermorelube, aka Dr. Lube, for
the Gynecologist Center.
Um. The cop so bland.
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