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You think Husband in a Jar freaks you out?

So now that I'm getting a new castle and all, people are starting to offer to help me move, and decorate.  Problem is, they just get freaked out when I say.. no that can not go there, that is where HUSBAND IN A JAR sits.  Or, don't open that closet, I have HUSBAND IN A JAR there.. freaks their asses out.. like screaming freaks em out.. 

Really, that is what freaks you out?  Well, then you sure as hell are not going to like the rest of the story.  But before we go there, why does it freak you out?  It's not like I folded him up and shoved him in a cardboard box all neatly ironed and pressed with fresh creases.. 




 it's ashes.. in a very pretty red urn.. 


I watch all these people stand by graves where they put the ashes and I'm all.. wtf.. why didn't ya just keep em in the house?  It's a hell of a lot easier.. dust em once in awhile and you're good to go.. 

Now, back to the freakin em out shit.. How freaked out would they be if they knew that it's not the entire HUSBAND IN A JAR.. some of the HUSBAND IN A JAR.. is actually HUSBAND IN A BOX BURIED UNDERGROUND IN ANOTHER STATE.. and some of HUSBAND IN A JAR is actually HUSBAND IN A JAR IN A VACATION JAR AT THE DAUGHTER'S HOUSE.. yea... we sort of spread him around.

Now that would totally freak em out.  Seems perfectly normal to me, but I'm not your every day Joe.. I'm a little freaky.. I get a kick out of knowing he's where ever he wants to be and has his very own house no matter which family he is visiting that day.. Fucker never did like motel rooms anyway.. 



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4 comments:

  1. LA BotcharJuly 12, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    I am not freaked out at all. I think it must be wonderful to have been so loved that everyone still wants a tiny piece of you after you're gone. Ok, perhaps that does sound an odd sentiment -- but screw them; it's still sentiment!! I hope all goes smoothly with the move.

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    1. The QueenJuly 15, 2015 at 3:33 PM

      I'm stuck between I got the keys, and they gave up theirs.. lol not a problem, just a timing issue with both parties being in town at the same time.. If I'm they are not, if I am not, they are.. but soon..

      Delete
  2. Momma FargoJuly 14, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    It is whatever floats your boat. Not unusual for our loved ones to be a genie in a bottle. Might come in handy some day and will definitely protect you from the ghosties.

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    1. The QueenJuly 15, 2015 at 3:34 PM

      I got me a broke genie. I rub the jar and all I get is "dust me bitch".. no wishes, no money.. just a demand for a dusting..

      Delete

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!

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