7 out of 10 Women Say....

I recently did a little survey about husbands.. and I'm telling you here is what I discovered.

Years ago, I got HUSBAND IN A JAR... which we all know pissed me off for a very long time.. Not that he's in the damn jar, just how and when he got there.

It's a real shock to your system to one day be walking into one of the finest dining establishments with a six foot cowboy on your arm then go to driving through McDonalds with a fucking red jar strapped in a car seat!  You WILL be pissed off for a long time over that shit.

Anyway, once the initial shock wore off, it became an acceptable lifestyle for me.  I have no problem strapping the red jar in the car seat and going out to lunch.  Hell, I've walked in to pretty classy places, set him across the table from me and ordered him a rare steak.  That will turn some heads.. and get you asked to please leave and don't come back.

You know me.. I was all "WE HAD A FUN FILLED 20 YEARS, WE'VE FALLEN OUT OF BETTER PLACES THAN THIS DUMP!".

Anyway,  back to my survey.  Bitches use to be all  "You are not being very respectful to your husband by toting him around in a fucking red jar.".  I'm all "bite me bitches, you'll discover I'm right and it's the only way to fly".

Fast forward 6 years.

Vet says "wish I had followed in your footsteps.. beats fucking divorce all to hell"

Dame says "wish I had followed your suggestion.  Custody battles are a fucking mess"

Fargo says "wish I had done that, fucker couldn't steal her money"

Dutch says " If I had listened to you I would not be a damn foot nurse now"

PWT says "it's not too late for me to follow you"

Not an E'ffing Mommy says "Wish we had stayed in touch, I could have used your help"

Jeannie in a Bottle says "How come I didn't know you back then, can you imagine the money I would have saved"

that is Seven out of Ten

OTHER THREE ARE COKED UP WHORES.. 

So, never poo poo the idea of Husband in a Jar.  They are easy keepers, cheap dates, and they never argue.  If they do, you shove them in a closet for a time out.  Tell them to think  about what they've said.. and leave them there until they see shit your way.. 

Have a great day..

The Queen..