Doing Mach 70 in Ford!

So those that know us in real life know that about 3 times during the summer months the generations of Royals go back to the village of the common folk.  

PWT has decided that in my old age it is not safe for me to do the driving and she will take over that task.. god help us all..  

We just took that little journey a couple weeks ago for the second time this summer.  Fuck me running, my nerves will never be the same.

First of all, she drives a damn Ford.. yea.. FOUND ON ROAD DEAD.  However, she may have gotten lucky and bought the only one that is reliable.  So far so good.

However, we raised her among speed demons and she took to it quite well.  She gets in the car and sets the cruise at Mach 70.  Phone in lap shouting out directions to her.  I'm sorry phone app, you need to speed up your damn instructions.  By the time you tell her to turn left in 2 miles, she's 9 miles past the turn off.  Please update your shit.

Then, she hits interstate and bitch speeds up.  We are weaving in and out of traffic like we own the damn interstate.  She does not have road rage, she has.. "get the fuck out of my way" rage.

I swear to fucking god we passed Jimmy Johnson seven times on interstate.  Bitch if fucknuts crazy behind a damn steering wheel.

What is actually a comfortable 7 hour drive she turns in to a 4 hour jaunt down the road.  She always calls ahead and tells Dad to foam the runway cause she's bringing it in for a landing.  I fear the day her landing gear does not lock.

Ogre Child and I just tighten our seat belts and hope we live to see the next rest area.  You can't even tell a good road trip story cause by the time you are done with "once upon a time" crazy bitch has us there.

We have one more trip planned and I am hoping Ogre Child can finish the story she started about "in my invisible world", cause that sounded like it was going to be good.  However, the landing sign came on and we had to put out our cigies and shut off our electronics.  Never heard the end of that story.