Please do NOT expect daily blog posts. Things are what they are. The voices are pretty much in control, and those bitches drink.. so it will be random!

Happy Easter!

I am spending it in the ER with my favorite gator.  Seems the Easter Bunny can not swim very fast.  Also appears my favorite gator is allergic to Bunnies.  So here we are, waiting to see if they can save a gator.
It all started out very innocent.  The Easter Bunny bid Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy a good evening and headed out on his annual run.  Hopping house to house hiding eggs and filling baskets.  When, he came upon the Royal Kingdom.
Knowing my hookers have gone forth and produced, he knew he had to hit the castle.  So, being a great mythical Bunny God he jumped into the mote and started to swim toward the castles.  Unfortunately , no one gave my gators the memo about Easter, Bunnies that shit out chocolate eggs and the hiding of brightly colored eggs.  All my gators heard at 4:00 A.M. was a splash.

Splash in this kingdom means The Queen is pissed and it's "game on".  My gators came to life and were on the hunt.  

It was at this point that the little Easter Bunny realized he may have made a bad judgement call.  All the noise in my gator mote woke me from a dead sleep.  I ran and looked out upon my kingdom to see which hooker had thrown which john, into the mote.

The site before me made me laugh so hard the entire kingdom shook.  Hookers were jumping up across the kingdom and looking out their windows.  We all witnessed the great disaster that unfolded as Easter Bunny tried to swim to safety.

The humor of Easter Bunny swimming for all he was worth while throwing brightly colored eggs at my gators was more than any of us could stand.  We ran toward the edge of the mote to save the bunny.  Easter Bunny was almost to safety when the unthinkable happened.
It was time to shit out another 

As the bunny strained to shit this sucker out, the gators closed in.  Panic stricken eyes of an Easter Bunny is an image no one should ever have to witness.  We screamed as the bunny was consumed by my gator pac.
Within minutes of eating the bunny,  Jailbird, my favorite gator flipped over and started floating and bloating. 
 The Royal Vet grabbed Jailbird and headed for our clinic.  She is working feverishly to save Jailbird.   It seems Jailbird is allergic to rabbit!  Who the fuck ever heard of a gator being allergic to a rabbit?
My deepest apology to all the children who did not get a visit from the Easter Bunny this morning.  We in no way, here at the kingdom meant to cause any heartache to small children.  It's just we forgot to send the memo to the gators.

DISCLAIMER:  We feel we hold no responsibility for the untimely death of the Easter Bunny.  After further review, we discovered the Easter Bunny was out partying with the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause, shortly before making his appointed rounds.
 
  We feel if he had been totally sober, he would have been able to swim to safety.
TAKE ME HOME! The Queen signing off

Sound off Bitches

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2 comments:

  1. Stupid fucking rabbit. Should have stuck to shitting out jellybeans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See what happens when you get all fancy.. shit out that huge chocolate candy and get killed.. shit a jelly bean and run.. by the way, who bought you Peeps this year? I plum forgot..

      Delete

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!