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Get your headlight out of my ASS!


So,  PWT, OC and The Queen, took a little road trip the last couple days.  Not far, but far enough from the kingdom to put the Queen, outside her comfort zone.  Queenie is use to Clyde driving her every place she goes.  This trip, Queenie drove.
 
Remember, I'm totally directionally challenged.  Yes, I will argue with the damn GPS and I can't read road signs while I'm driving.  This is a really bad combo..
 
No worries, PWT was along to navigate.  We got this covered....  
 
FIRST FAIL:  PWT is yapping away and forgets to tell me that just over this next hill, is a stop sign and the intersection!  HOLY SHIT BATMAN.. there has always been a question about how well my brakes work on the bat mobile.. NO WORRIES.. BRAKES WORK!
So,  we hit the city.. we can see our motel,, and just as we are two blocks from it, on one ways.. PWT decides to lose the GPS on her freaking phone!   I whip the bat mobile across three lanes of traffic and hit a parking lot.  
Wake me when you figure this out kid..
Soon, we are in the motel and having a great time.
Time to go home..
Holy shit, she wants to take a freaking side trip.  That's the smart thing to do.  Put Queenie behind the wheel, in a strange city, when she's directionally challenged, and let her drive through a huge park, that just goes around in circles.. ON A CLOUDY DAY..
we are so screwed..
Oh look, we accidentally found our way back to interstate..
PWT.
Go ,, go,, you're clear.. go go go
STOP!
and there we sat..
A car on my ass so tight all I can see is one headlight.
other car has another lane to get in to,, won't do it..
we're in the ditch, against a rail.. and no place to go..
Go,
I move.. they move to pass
stop
I stop, they stop..
By now, I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face..
PWT is laughing so hard I can't tell if she is saying go or no..
and this is all happening on an on ramp on interstate..
go,, no.. go... no.. go.. no.
Finally, I JUST FREAKING FLOOR THE BAT MOBILE
dumb ass behind me had no chance to react..
it was kind of one of those 
KYLE BUSCH RESTARTS.
We were free,, and,, umm..she passes us...
Then,, PWT is so panicked about the whole thing.. she is lost..
We hit the off ramp
on ramp
off ramp
on ramp
Now she has no idea where we are or what direction we are going..but we've lost the other car...
PWT circles us around, and puts us back on a highway.  She has no idea what highway,, but we are on a highway.. we're good.. until.
THE CAR COMES UP BEHIND US AGAIN..
passes us...
now we are laughing again...
Finally,, they pull off in a parking lot, and we move on..
Every car we met, through three counties.. pulled off the road when they saw the bat mobile coming..
pretty sure there was a little radio chatter going on..
at one point, we saw fire and rescue waiting along the side of the road..
Kind of like foaming the runway... just in case..
So,, if you see a white van coming down the road,, doing the stop and go..
JUST PULL OVER AND LET US GO
WE BE ON A MISSION!
 
 
 
 
TAKE ME HOME! The Queen signing off

Sound off Bitches

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4 comments:

  1. You crazy loon!!! Someone shoulda yanked your license years ago. Before your tits became feet warmers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tits as feet warmers... I just peed my pants

      Delete
  2. Bet that town will be talking about you for years to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True story right there. I'm pretty sure there will be rules and regs we have to follow, should we ever wish to take three generations of royal family back to that city!

      Delete

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!