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The Country Girl and City Life!

Well, not exactly "city life"  it's more like "apartment life"!

What happens when you take a Country Girl, and toss her in an apartment?  BLOG FODDER  that's what happens..

I live in a little complex where there are four apartments.  It was the perfect set-up when I moved in.  The back apartment had a man about my age, who would sit on the back deck and smoke a ciggie with me now and then.  Never saw or heard from him unless we happen to need a smoke break at the same time.  Since his apartment has a side deck, and I live on main street, he allowed me to use it.  PERFECT NEIGHBOR..

The apartment between us, had a man who was never home.  Oh yea, we had the occasional day that it rained (he's only here in the summer) and he didn't go to work, but those were few and far between.  He goes to work before sun up and he parties long after the sun goes down.  Sure, he brought home the occasional hooker, and the walls are very thin.. but we just turn up the TV for those four seconds..  PERFECT NEIGHBOR..

Beside me was a little family.  Daddy worked nights, so Mommy took the kids out during the day.  Never a peep out of that apartment.  If we happened to be coming or going at the same time, there was the nod of the head greeting and that is all.  PERFECT NEIGHBOR..

THEN.. the little family moved.. was a sad day.. very sad.  ENTER... the FRANKSTER... Holy shit on a biscuit.. this dude is a piece of work.  Is a self proclaimed woman's man.  World's greatest boyfriend.  Every woman's nightmare   dream.

First time I met him, I happened to be out front having a smoke.  First conversation involved him telling me he was having a key made for his place in case I "ever needed anything".  Hey dude, you have the only basement in the entire complex.  If I need anything, it will be because a tornado is bearing down on us.  In that case I will have super powers which means I will be able to kick the door in!  I won't be needing a key!

Several conversations followed were he reminded me he will be having a key made in case I "needed" anything.  Things that went through my head were.

#1.  First husband..  ladies man
#2.  Second husband.. drunk..
#3.  You, both
#4.  I have batteries!

ENTER.. new girlfriend..
within a week he had her moved in and set up housekeeping with her.  Decided it was no longer important to pay rent.  This means, a pissed off landlord constantly banging on his door at all hours trying to catch them home, up, entering, leaving.. whatever...

This means, slamming doors as they run out the back door in order to avoid pissed off landlord..

This means, comings and goings at all hours of the night as they try to avoid said pissed off landlord.

This means, screaming and yelling about which one is guilty of not paying the rent.

This means,  loud make up sex which is covered up with even louder fucking music.. NOT the cool kind of music.. the damn Fargo kind of music.. the shit with the base woofers that rattle the concrete wall between our apartments.. The kind of music that causes me to have the urge to load the shotgun and shoot holes in the wall in tempo!

I'm strongly considering spraying water on their backdoor until it freezes shut.. duct taping their lock on the front door so when PISSED OFF LANDLORD starts pounding, it falls open... and then sitting with a video camera and waiting for the show...

We really need to get our peaceful complex back.  It's almost summer and we all hang out in the backyard together... Three of us totally pissed off at the fourth one is not going to make it a pleasant summer for anyone..

NO GOOD COMES FROM TAKING A COUNTRY GIRL, AND STICKING HER IN AN APARTMENT COMPLEX.. it's just not pretty...

Stay tuned for more on.. NASTY NEIGHBOR BOY!


The Queen signing off
Sound off Bitches



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1 comment:

  1. Hopefully ick neighbor will be evicted soon. Or I did like your idea about the shotgun

    ReplyDelete

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!