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Update on the Kingdom

It has been several years since you have heard from the Kingdom.  Here is an WTF went down.

 The Hookers joined the Union and discovered it was illegal for Dutchess and I to take 90% of their income right off the top.  Bitches forgot we provided everything for them out of that profit.  Ungrateful little brats threw a huge tantrum.

The Vet got me drunk on cheap gin, stuck a lampshade on my head, shoved me in a corner, handed me an electrical cord, told me I was a lamp and I could turn myself on if I had a bright idea….   That took a while.  The dumb ass stood me next to the fully stocked liquor cabinet.

Then, they grabbed their Auntie Dutchess, hauled her ass off to the rehab center.  WTF were they thinking?  She promptly turned it into a five star hotel resort.  She now lives on the entire top floor of the hotel, overlooking her vast kingdom complete with strip club and golf course.  I guess if their new lives don’t work out they can apply for jobs with her.

Our top cop moved out East to become the city cop in a little one horse town where she gets paid in tea leaves and coffee beans.

The Duck forgot the first rule of Hooking and is now raising a fresh little Princess of her own.  She does have her hands full.  A teenager and a toddler.  I send booze often.

If you remember one of the hookers tried to take over the kingdom years ago.  The Royals threw her in the gator pit and took over Oz.  When that happened we rescued Dorothy and Toto.

I brought them back to the Kingdom and they have lived very happily in the south property.  Dorothy still keeps up with Auntie Em so those stories will be included in future posts.  Uncle Henri still rocks Aunt Ems ruby red shoes and black silk evening dress but we have come to love him anyway.

Lucille, Bulldog, Willie still live in the main castle with me.  Willie keeps to himself unless he needs someone to make a weed run for him, or I need him to fire up the chopper.  Sometimes we fire up the chopper because Willie needs his weed.  Those are always interesting flights.  Willie piloting without weed is a sight.  Wonder what the correct term for road rage is when it involves a chopper?

As you can see I’ve purchased a new business and named it Royal Tire, Lube, and Gynecologist Center.  We are a full service site, but we don’t promise Willie won’t supply the wrong lube to the wrong department.  It may be a crap shoot.

Willie is head of the Tire and Lube Center

We hired Dr. Tellwillietoordermorelube, aka Dr. Lube, for the Gynecologist Center.

So now that you are up to date on the players, old and new, I hope you enjoy the adventures of THE QUEEN OF WTFImage

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1 comment:

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!