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Charlie the Penis Pig Plant

 Anyone who knows me at all, knows I can not keep a plant alive for more than 4 days in the house.
I come from a long line of green thumbs.
I am not one.

The fact that PWT survived in the house for as many years as she did just amazes me.  I'm not very domestic.

The longest I've kept a pet alive is 4 years.

Blue Fish has been with me a year.

Blue Fish is a miracle.

I'm not very nurturing.

I think you need to suck it up.  Need water, go get it.
I'm busy, here's a bucket of water, see you in a year.
 
 I can't even keep weeds alive.
 
 I commit crimes against flowers
 
Best example of a decorative plant in my house
 
I can't even keep my family tree alive
 
But, I  do have experience with hookers and johns.  I have had the talk with my girls.  We have lots of animals here in the kingdom.

so, I decided if there was a plant in this world I could keep alive it would be a pigs penis

farm kids just snorted drinks out their nose
city kids
google it.

I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the kingdom
Charlie
The Green Pig Penis Plant
 
 
 I'll keep you updated on how a penis gets along with the woman without a green thumb!

TAKE ME HOME! The Queen signing off

Sound off Bitches

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2 comments:

  1. Kathryn LovingApril 6, 2013 at 3:12 PM

    Oh my. We need to get you some green thumb help. LOL. How about air plants. You can't kill those unless you strangle them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The QueenApril 7, 2013 at 3:47 AM

      Let me tell you about my "air" plant. Someone got me one as a joke when I lived in Nebraska. When I moved to Kansas in 09 I packed it away in a box. I found it the other day. IT'S STILL ALIVE.. I love air plants. That is why I got Charlie. They say all he needs is water. Damn good thing too. If he needed Scotch he would be soooo screwed. Hookers don't share their booze with stupid plants!

      Delete

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!

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