The Pink Poinsettia vs The Red Jar

So today was quite interesting.  It's getting down to the wire for Christmas and I have no clue what to get Ogre Child.  I got PWT's gift bought and wrapped, but OC is a little more complicated.

I'm thinking if all else fails, I'll have a few unsupervised days with her after Christmas.. I'll teach her to mix a good gin and tonic.  What's better to give a seven year old than a trade!  Hey.. Bartenders make good tips.  Her parents are all in to this whole schooling crap.. I'm just giving her something to fall back on if she decides to go to high school in Colorado!   You may not make it to college if you spend to0 much time in Colorado.. that crap is hard on the ole brain cells.. I'm just helping her have a plan B.



So, I believe in shopping local.. I hit one of the stores that had poinsettias for sale.  I was all, well I'll buy one just to help support their business.  I pull out my five bucks and hand it over.  I then ask if they have any idea how to care for this thing.  After all, we all know the only plants I can keep alive would be ditch weed, the pig penis plant (which by the way, turns three this year) and the famous air plant I've had for almost 15 years.  

The person behind the counter told me to just give it a little water and keep it out of a draft.  I'm all,, pleeeaaaseee bitch.. I rent, the entire thing is one big draft!  

They went on to tell me how if I put it in the dark closet just before NEXT Christmas, it will turn red for Christmas.  I look at her and say "This bastard is going to be lucky to make it to this Christmas!"  What part of I DON'T HAVE A GREEN THUMB, do people NOT understand?

So, I'm happily sporting a pink, not red, poinsettia.  Pretty sure I heard it begging for it's life a little bit ago.  It's sitting right by the red jar.  You know the King always had a weird sense of humor.  I think he whispered to the poinsettia "Hi, I was last years Easter Lily!"  Think it kinda freaked the poinsettia out a bit.

So, I will try to keep you updated on conversations overheard in the next few days between the red jar and the pink poinsettia.  In the mean time, try to keep warm and don't do any concrete diving.  I can tell you that shit hurts.