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So, PWT does not want sad.. then get ready to pop a stitch bitch!

As you know, PWT lost her peanut. Made me cry.. I mean really cry.. cry like I have never cried before.. and then I decided..WTF I'm a fucking Queen.. No one gets to tell ME I can't have anymore Grandkids.. who the fuck do those damn doctors think they are... have they never heard of BLUE TOOTH.. that's right fuckers.. I have a plan..



I'm gonna have the Vet go through one of those little holes PWT has in her belly right now,, and put King's old cell phone in her ovary.. then.. I have my old cell phone from when we lived in Nebraska... I'm having the Vet put that one in PWT's uterus..and.. I'm having her turn on the blue tooth... that's right fuckers.. we're gonna beam us a baby..

At first I didn't think this would work because frankly,, they're old phones and I wasn't sure how long the batteries would hold up.. NOT AN ISSUE.. Vet is gonna leave a little cord hanging out her left ass cheek, where we can plug her into the wall to recharge her..

I'm sure this has not been approved by the medical association,, but then.. those fuckers aren't a Queen.. They are just simple minded doctors that don't think outside the box.. I've really thought this through. This isn't just some hair brain idea I came up with because someone mixed my Xanex and drinks to strong. I really really thought about this.. this will work.. we will be famous..

There will be no more of this jacking off in a cup.. harvesting eggs..waiting.. paying doctors.. we'll just recycle old phones and make lots of cell babies...

They won't have to spend any time in a lab growing.. no.. they get to stay right there in their warm little home where they belong... The only thing I'm afraid of is each one will come out with some kind of funky stamp on their ass..

Instead of the doctor saying.. IT'S A GIRL

She'll say.. IT'S A MOTOROLA !! This baby was brought to you by Sprint!



Hey.. stop it.. I know this is a totally inappropriate post to make..but fuck you.. PWT is from good stock.. knock us down.. we're just like that old toy punch bag.. we will pop right back up and kick the shit out of life!!






I'm waiting for a comment here!!
make a gif
while I'm stomping Common Sense
Shit spouted by

11 comments:

  1. Jen SparklesJanuary 4, 2011 at 7:20 PM

    OMg, I have 2 old black berries! I am up for this. If that doesn't work we can plant one in my damn ovaries and try to blue tooth one of my eggs... this can work. Damn its got to. If not I am all for using the turkey baster to go through one of the holes!

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  2. The QueenJanuary 4, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    See, get a bunch of drunken Royals together and we can solve any problem thrown our way...

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  3. DondaJanuary 4, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    I would like to get one of them honey i shrunk the kids laser blasters and make ryan reynolds real small and inject him into her ass where he would then swim to the appopriate place to inseminate...but thats just me. And please take me off the security detail and let me be the surgeon. I saw an HBO special once on how to do a vasectomy and a labotomy...I know I can handle this!

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  4. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    ummm, remember when I sent PWT to the hospital because I put a picture of the clown. Yikes

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  5. PWTJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    ROTFLMAO! Fuck the Percoset wore off! Not the one that makes everything funny... it's still hanging strong. But I'm pretty sure my appendix is hanging out my belly button right now!! LMAO! Someone send the vet over to snip that fucker off while it's poking out, I don't need it acting up too. I swear! Bastard doctors have chopped me open twice, refuse to leave a zipper and still haven't taken that nasty litte bugger out? What do I pay these assholes for? LOL

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  6. CBJanuary 5, 2011 at 6:47 AM

    Shit fire! I just snorted coffee through my fucking nose!!! I think it's totally going to work mom! Just think of all the Gin you're going to be able to drink! And nOw we won't have to limit Auntie's pill popping anymore!!!

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  7. Babes MamiJanuary 5, 2011 at 9:08 AM

    Hilarious! Who needs doctors, pills and science?!

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  8. Momma FargoJanuary 5, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    You are a brilliant rocket/cell phone/baby scientist! I have an extra Motorola for you!

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  9. The QueenJanuary 5, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    thanks.. I giggle snorted too..

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  10. middle childJanuary 5, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    Thanks for the heads up on the poetry witch. As for a girlfriend,...I will have one before he does! Love you always. (he asked his Dr. for the little blue pill and he doesn't qualify sooo,....)

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  11. DutchessJanuary 7, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Oh fucking hell. Brilliant!

    lmao...only you could come up with this, and that is why I love you, ya crazy bitch.

    ReplyDelete

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!

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