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About the Hooker in 7B

Dear Diary,
I woke up this morning and thought about the hooker living on our street.  I am very amazed she does not have a star role on "Cops".  This crazy bitch has more dick walking in and out of her house than anyone I have ever met.
I often wonder if she douches between bus stops.  That thought mulls around in my head for a bit then I get out the vodka, lots and lots of vodka.
Her latest episode has caused me to scratch my head in wonder.  Years of handling some of the best hookers in Oz, I would never tolerate this type of action.
She took the loss of her Uncle Fred so badly that she started drinking as soon as the dude was in the ground.  Sloppy Dick Lover started out with her as he snuggled her oversized   cuntwaffle  bed.  After much hanging on to the 2 x 4 so he didn't fall in  snuggling and whatever else goes on in that bed, he hauled her off to a party.
Halfway through the party  crazy bitch got horny again she decided that Sloppy Dick Lover had not entirely scratched her itch.  She crawled into the nearest bed and started calling every John she had ever met begging them to please come scratch the itch that Sloppy Dick Lover had failed to reach.  
At some point Sloppy Dick Lover decided he had enough of this crap and decided to take her away.  He thought he was returning her home, however she had different plans.  Sloppy Dick Lover had no idea she had a 10:45 pm appointment with Mr. I'm Too Stupid to Breathe.
Imagine Sloppy Dick Lover's shock when she asked him to drop her off at Mr. I'm Too Stupid to Breathe's front door.
Imagine Mr. I'm Too Stupid to Breathe's shock when a few minutes later he found the 2 x 4 still wedge in her cuntwaffle mine entryway.
So as you can tell, even though I no longer run my own whore house with some of the classiest hookers you ever met...  I am still fully entertained thanks to the  fucked up whore that cares about no one except herself and her own horny itch  hooker that lives on our street.
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1 comment:

  1. Her theme song should be On The Street Where You live. Performed by Andy Williams.
    "I have often walked down this street before
    But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before
    All at once am I several stories high?
    Knowing I'm on the street where you live"

    ReplyDelete

I have more personalities than you have bras. Deal with it. Do your best to keep up. Feel free to leave a comment, chocolate or gin, your choice! Oh, if you stopped by wearing your asshole pants... I have no problem with nasty bullshit. I'll dish it back to you so fast you'll choke on it.. so go ahead... make my day!